Are you wondering...
How do I even begin...
to step out into the world?
You've been through a lot.
Whether it’s a major illness, a life-changing loss, a mental health challenge or a big life transition - or maybe even all of these at once…
It’s takes all your energy just to get through your daily tasks, roles and decisions. You've likely needed to (insulate) from the world just to make it through another day.
Yet you know something is missing. You know that community is important. Building relationships is important. Finding and sharing your passions is important… but they are absent or maybe they feel absent. It just feels so hard to know how and where to start.
And you don’t have the energy to “fake it” or compromise yourself.
Imagine how life could be if
you got to be out in the world - on your terms - without compromising, faking or pretending.
If you have a moment right now, I invite you to take a moment here to really imagine what this would be like… take a deep breath…What would that feel like like for you?
What if you felt free to live your life again and secure in yourself along the way?
Imagine feeling excited again for adventures, meeting people, experiencing new things, and perhaps even having fun.
What if your loss was actually a source of hope? Your grief, a map of courage to love again? Impact on world: Who might you inspire? Who might you touch?
A significant loss or life disruption shakes you to your core.
Maybe at first you tried to keep all the balls spinning, but found yourself exhausted from trying to keep up. This is a very normal first response to feel a sense of control.
So what’s the other option? Many of us begin to withdraw - This too is a normal response. You’re overwhelmed. However too much of this can lead to isolation and disconnection which doesn't exactly help you with all you’ve got going on.
What about a third option?
We know that connection is the antidote to depression and taking steps backwards.
You’ve still got time, dreams to fulfill, important people to meet. What if your next chapter got to be even better than what you had before? What if you had even better friends, better relationships, or even a chance to pursue a dream you’ve always wanted?
Let's Begin
I offer 1:1 coaching for with a focus on:
Embrace: Build your support system. Develop self-care. Reflect on lessons from loss. Express your emotions. Create safety.
Embark: Find momentum by creating a vision for your next steps that enlivens you. Revive your spirits with joy and pleasure, Create a vision for what’s ahead that reflects your wisdom and lessons. Move past limiting thoughts and beliefs that are holding you back (learning to trust yourself)
Express: Take action on what matters you. Learn to take consistent action on what matters most to you Connect with others through your strengths and authenticity Integrate into daily habits
A helpful metaphor is the caterpillar growing into a butterfly to visualize this journey in 3 important stages.
EMBRACE: COCOON
When in a cocoon, the caterpillar is creating a safe space - wrapping itself up with threads that will support its next steps. This is an important stage of nourishment that paves way to healthy emergence into what’s next.
EMBARK: FLEX YOUR WINGS:
The caterpillar knows it can’t stay in the cocoon forever. After receiving enough nourishment, you know when it’s time to flex your wings. This is like flexing your joy and courage muscles - and they might look new and different from before. Flexing the wings gives emphasis on letting this be a gentle practice, where you get to test things out, see what works.
EXPRESS: FLY
After the work and reps of flexing your wings, practicing tools, you have what it takes to express yourself and fly. Your wings will support you, and all those colors of your wings get to be seen. THis is where you’ll:
“ My journey has been about stepping into the world of co-creation again, relating in new and nurturing ways while feeling in complete integrity with myself, my heart and my mind. We continue to succeed 100 % in not sacrificing the inner world to the outer. On the contrary, my inner world keeps opening up as I expand my presence with others in the outer world." -
How I can Help
I trained as a licensed therapist and art therapist, where I walked alongside of folks through loss and saw them take steps to build new lives. Living in LA I found a particular love of working with creatives and helping them use their creativity to see their own wisdom and resilience.
I found bringing in dynamic approaches of art, movement and mindfulness helped clients move past "analysis paralysis” and experience the dynamic nature of their inner wisdom.
I received my ICF Professional Coaching Certification through the Academy for Coaching Excellence, one of the most rigorous coach training programs in the world. Coaching provided an active approach that I saw helped to mobilize and empower folks, into learning tools that they took with them long after the coaching ended.
"Hilary was a great help and a joy to work with. In our time working together, I was constantly impressed with her positive attitude and unwavering levels of support for me.In our time together I feel like I grew a lot as she gently challenged the thought patterns that were keeping me stuck and unable to participate in projects that meant a lot to me. I'd highly recommend Hilary and I had a great experience working with her."
-Mike Stout, CA
About Our Work
I offer 2-50 minute sessions per month for a suggested time of 6 months.
6-months is a good amount of time to effectively learn skills, and begin to practice/implement them consistently into your life to be able to see life-changing results.
You can cancel anytime you get what you came together for.
What’s Included?
2 50-minute Sessions / month -
Ongoing support between sessions to implement
Life changing tools, worksheets
Bonus additional session your first month
Rates:
I offer a sliding scale of $200 / $235 / $270 / month which includes 2 50 minute sessions/month with support between sessions as needed to effectively implement what you learned in the session.
Please choose an option that will support you to commit to yourself and your transformation, as well as not become a financial hardship. By paying at a higher level, you help me be able to support a wider range of people from various economic situations and offer up 1-2 scholarships opportunities.
I base my 2 session/month fee on the following: What will reflect the value you’ll receive? What will give you more than your money’s worth? What will honor a variety of situations?
What Value Will I Take Away?
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Regained Confidence and Trust Begin to trust again in what you’re capable of and experience confidence as a result of doing what’s important to you
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Satisfying Connection and Relationships
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Establish relationships that nourish you on your terms
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Vitality Learn how to focus your thoughts so your energy directed what fulls you up,
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Revive yourself in your sensualityJoy Unlock the power of lasting happiness
"Through our conversations I learned to identify when I was ruminating or just allowing an emotion to be felt, expressed, and LOVED. Hilary was exceptional at reframing and refocusing! There was no forced opinions or judgments made with her vocal redirection. She has a very clear understanding of how to offer a different perspective, which can drastically shift your own personal understanding of self and this even offered me a chance to look at how very hard I can be on myself! Hilary was an exceptional mirror of self reflection filled with patience, kindness, compassionate, honesty, presence, and peaceful nurturing energy. I am in complete reverence for the time we spent together."
Megan, TX
Coaching Distinctions
Therapy is about healing; coaching is about action.
Consulting prescribes expertise-based solutions; coaching puts your own wisdom into action.
Mentoring guides you based on a mentor’s wisdom; coaching guides you according to your own values and intentions.
Training follows a set curriculum toward set objectives; coaching reveals your own objectives and a path to fulfill them.
Diversity and Inclusivity
I am invested in supporting a diverse group of clients. I have coached people from the following categories and am open to more: LGBTQ, POC, Genderqueer, Neurodivergent, and Differently Abled. I have also coached international clients with differences in language and culture, seeking to humbly learn and make coaching accessible and inclusive for you. I invite you to provide me with feedback when you see possibilities for my practice to best meet your needs.
Now What?
Interested? Have a Question? Great. Let’s Schedule a Call. https://calendly.com/hilary-kern/discovery-call-hilary You are thinking of a friend? Wonderful. Please send them here. Let them know that this kind of support is available and happening.
FAQ
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What’s the difference between this and therapy?The result of therapy is often insight and the focus is on processing emotions. While you may experience some of this in our work together - the result is taking meaningful steps towards your goals. We will look together to support you to get very clear about what these are, what creates meaning for you, and consistently support you to take action towards those goals. In addition, while I bring skills and tools to support you to move through the obstacles that get in the way of your goals and dreams, our work is entirely collaborative.
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What’s Professional Coaching?As an ICF certified coach, I am regulated by a governing board to follow ethical standards of the profession. I have received 2 years of level 2 training and have been directly supervised by a mentor coach to assure that I have met the core competencies of the field. I have regular continuing education classes to keep myself up in the skills.
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What can I expect from a typical session?Typically on or before the first session, we will create a roadmap to see clearly journey ahead and create measurable results for what success in working together. This will anchor you for what’s ahead and serve as a compass for staying steady on your course. After this, sessions will typically follow a format where you come to coaching with a particular topic or question to focus on. We will work together towards a particular outcome you’d love to achieve and work systematically to move through obstacles along the way. You will walk away with a particular action step and accountability. During the first 3 months, most sessions will provide you with skills and tools to practice in between sessions.
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How does art and creativity play in?My training in art therapy supports me to collaborate with your wisdom to help you find creative solutions to your challenges. Often after trauma and grief we can lose touch with the creative and innovative parts of our brain. Our work together will help you flex and rediscover this part of your brain. I won’t be providing art therapy interventions, though I will support you to find your creative voice and expression.
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Where does this take place?Online sessions on zoom 2x/month
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What is the cost? Will I even be able to afford it?It’s important to me to make my work accessible, therefore I offer a sliding scale current rates are: $200, $225, $250
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How do I start?Sign up for an initial call here. You’ll find my calendly link to find a time that works for you. Email me here if you’re having trouble finding a time.
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What can I expect from the call?Calls are held on zoom for an hour to an hour and 15 minutes. Calls are confidential. You’ll receive support to see more clearly where you are stuck, as well as the deeper vision you are wanting at this point in your life. We’ll explore together if it’s a fit. If not I’ll give you a few referrals that might be of greater support to you. I’ll share with you how working together would address these and if you’d like give you sample of our work together.
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What can I expect from a typical session?Typically on or before the first session, we will create a roadmap to see clearly journey ahead and create measurable results for what success in working together. This will anchor you for what’s ahead and serve as a compass for staying steady on your course. After this, sessions will typically follow a format where you come to coaching with a particular topic or question to focus on. We will work together towards a particular outcome you’d love to achieve and work systematically to move through obstacles along the way. You will walk away with a particular action step and accountability. During the first 3 months, most sessions will provide you with skills and tools to practice in between sessions.
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What other topics can I bring to coaching?You are welcome to bring any topic that has meaning and energy for you. While we will work together to create a clear roadmap of what you’d like to get most out of coaching in the first 2 sessions, it’s normal for additional topics to arise. These can be on anything from self-care, relationships, goal-setting, navigating unexpected changes, managing stress, overwhelm and doubt, productivity and time management, purpose and career, health and well-being and finances.
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I’m not sure yet if this is the next step or if I need therapy. How would I best be able to tell?If you’re in an active crisis, struggling to meet everyday needs, or have unresolved trauma that is getting in the way, work with a therapist. If you are currently working with a therapist, consult with them as far as adding on additional support. You might also be at a place where you might be ready to transition for a different level of support, and our work together might be a great fit for that. You might consider this as an “aftercare” support to help you in your next steps to help you transition into what's next.